Having an old body is like owning an old house

Having an old body is like owning an old house—it always needs maintenance.

I’ve written a lot about the various projects and improvements to my nearly 70-year-old house—new deck (AKA the Relax Shack), bathroom remodels, lighting installation & redecorating—but I haven’t admitted all I’ve done to keep this old tart poppin’. And I realized just how parallel my self-improvement is to my home improvement, as shown in the table below.

Table

It’s like I have one thought that manifests two ways. (Click here to read more about my LASIK procedure.)

I didn’t even attempt to add up all the money I’ve spent on both types of improvement projects because I’m sure it’s astronomical. And ain’t nobody got time for a nervous breakdown (home project equivalent: full remodel down to the studs).

But I don’t want to just take you to this dark spot on aging and leave you. There is hope. Here are some ladies of a certain age who are putting the babies to shame.

My next project: boob job with a kitchen remodel equivalent. Just kidding. I’m way too scared…to remodel my kitchen.

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